Everything Sucks #1, Underground
Everything Sucks
Short Story #1
Underground
Written by R. Smith
Edited by Shawn M. Greenleaf
Cover & Design by Savage1Studio
Copyright © 2013 R. Smith
All rights reserved
Books and Series by R. Smith
Pop Culture Sucks, Manifesto Of A Vampire
Everything Sucks Series
Knights Of Albion (coming soon!)
Underground
Every time Hector and his friends went to the movies, it bugged him. The ticket ripper. He knew her from somewhere, but couldn't place her. She made the back of his brain itch. Especially when she gave him the "do I know you?" look.
He knew she was a Vampire because the first time he laid eyes on her, he knew he'd sell his left arm to a pig farm to see her naked. With Living People--even the inarguably stunning ones--it was more like looking at a beautiful wild animal, or pet. ("your dog is so cute, such a shiny coat!") No, Ticket Ripper was definitely a Vampire.
His group of friends were all Living, so he tried to hide how much she bothered him when they went to the movies. They had no idea about the Vampire thing. He assumed they knew about the Westons, most everyone in town seemed to, but he still posed as human just in case. The thought of fleeing for his life was thoroughly unappealing.
Despite the centuries of passed time, his nightmares had yet to let go of the medieval years. He looked in his late teens at base age, and he hated the fasting required to mimic aging. Since he rarely liked a place enough to stay more than five or six years, he seldom needed to worry about it.
He didn't mind the youthful look of his base-age. He was fond of teenagers. They were never boring; always coming up with fun and stupid ways to stay entertained. Befriending a new group was always easy. Find the popular hangout and party pit spots. Show up. Simple.
"I live outside of town. Homeschooled. You don't wanna come to my house, there's a reason I sneak out all the time. No I don't wanna discuss it." Easy.
The Doghouse Theater was the new big thing in town. Blahblah old building, blahblah first theatre in town, blahblah. Yay, history! Lately it had become the hangout spot of choice. Catch a movie and get drunk in the alley behind the building; or the empty lot a few blocks over, take your pick.
Anyhow, the Ticket Ripper thing finally got to him. He asked one of his friends about it after she pointed them in the right direction for their movie, and sent them on their way. He did his best to sound casual. "Hey, who's the ticket chic? Is she local?"
"Oh, that's Iris Bollet . . . Bollety . . . Bollectia, something like that. Why?"
He tried to shrug casually, like he didn't really care, but Living People can choose the most annoying possible moments to become perceptive.
His buddy Bud (no, really, Bud) grinned like a doofus. "You think she's hot."
"Nah." He shook his head as if a fly had landed on his face. "No. I just . . . she looks really familiar."
"Sure," said Bud with a smile. "She lives with two dudes anyway, so good luck!"
"Repeating: not into her."
Buddy seemed not to hear him. "Even without the two dudes she's, like, way too old!"
Hector rolled his eyes. "Seriously, man. I am not interested. Calm your balls."
They passed through the double door into the darkened room, and Buddy almost giggled. He was a big giggler, but he always tried hard to stifle it, so it usually came out as a high-pitched snort. "No, they should calm their balls," he said, pointing to their friends Laura and Owen, who were seated next to Emily and Chloe in the backmost row, furiously making out. Emily and Chloe were chit-chatting pleasantly as if the grope-fest wasn't even happening.
Hector smacked Laura in the back of the head as he plunked down in the seat next to her.
"Hey!"
Bud sat next to Hector. "You guys can't knock it off for five minutes? We're in public."
"In the back, in the dark," Laura whispered. "That's the whole point." She flashed her sweetest Piss Off look at them, then went back to slobbering on Owen.
Hector leaned forward enough to see around them. "Why did we invite them?"
Emily shrugged. "Whatever. They just hooked up."
"Kinda my point."
Owen broke free with an annoyed huff. "Don't wreck this for me, okay Grandma?" He pleaded. "It took me two months to get her to dump Captain Asshole!"
"I can't even remember why I went out with him at all," Laura said softly, gazing at Owen. "I love you so much."
"I love you so much, " Owen whispered back. The slobbering resumed.
Hector huffed and settled into his seat. "This is so gross." His annoyance festered until previews started and the Laura/Owen monster became 2 separate people again. His relief was short lived. When the face-sucking ended, the endless stream of schmoopy-talk began.
You have perfect eyes; you're so beautiful; you're my whole world, baby; I'll never let anything bad happen to you, would you do anything for me? Of course I would, wuv wuv wuv.
They were whispering softly enough, Hector thought maybe he could only hear them because of his superior Vampire hearing, but then Emily and Bud; almost in unison; grabbed onto the seats in front of them and jumped over. Hector eagerly followed suit as they hopped over one more row of seats before looking back at Chloe, who shrugged and joined them. She didn't seem to have a strong opinion on the subject.
Hector felt bad for her. She had been good friends with both Owen and Laura for years, and he got the feeling she was smart enough to realize what her future held. When her friends' Epic Romance inevitably ended; probably in an obnoxious hurricane of melodrama, she'd be stuck between the two of them like a human wishbone. He shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth and tried to focus on the previews. If she takes it real bad, maybe I'll turn her and we can leave town.
Hector preferred frequent changes of scenery, but he appreciated Stevensville quite a bit. The people were nice, and the teens were bored enough to be talked into all kinds of outrageous crap in the name of "cuz we can, guys!" As usual, after the movie they all got drunk in the alley behind the theater. Well, the kids got drunk, Hector drank and pretended to have a good strong buzz. If the kids saw how much booze it took to get him truly well and blotted, they might start wondering.
When sunrise was only hours away, the group said their goodbyes and scampered off toward their homes or crash-pads. Hector fished car keys out of his pocket, and headed for the front lot. He was staring up at the star flecked Montana sky, instead of in front of him, when he ended up running smack into someone. Iris the Ticket Ripper.
She stood firm, staring daggers at him. No, not daggers. Rocket launchers.
He stared back at her, baffled. "Where do I know you from?"
"Hell."
Not the response he'd expected. "Um . . . I don't know your story, but my life's been pretty sweet for hundreds--"
"Orvieto. The Underground."
Hector's jaw went as slack as if she'd just ripped her clothes off without warning.
She threw a sudden punch that sent him hurtling into the wall. "I knew it! It took me a while to be sure, but I knew it!"
He tried to steady himself and get his feet back; but before he could, she landed a hammering blow to his gut. It knocked the wind out of him.
"I promised myself if I ever saw you again, you would suffer!" She punctuated her words with several harsh blows to the face. "You almost got us all slaughtered!"
Hector racked his brain, zipping through all the faces from his time in the Underground.
She watched him struggle. "Imagine me looking fifteen years older with dirty skin, and hair down to my knees.
"Bravo."
Super heated, electric anger rippled through him, burning his senses as it went. "Idris!" He spat as he swung his fist with as much force as possible; but she was ready, deflecting the attack with ease and landing another solid strike to his core. He grabbed her shoulders as she lurched forward with the punch, and used her own momentum to spin her into the wall with a satisfying thud.
She quickly rallied her senses and yelled, "You're pissed? Are you serious? We let you off eas--"
"You have no idea what it was like!" He bellowed. "There was no place safe! No haven anywhere!"
Iris/Idris dropped fang and shoved him away with a repulsed sneer. "And yet you would've destroyed what little shelter we had!" She pushed him again. Hard. He stumbled back. "You were reckless!" She snarled. "And now I see you're sluffing about with shiftless teenagers? How can you; of all Vampires; stand them?"
He glared at her, and thought back to the brief time he had spent in the Underground with the rest of them, all slaves to the Vatican, and at the mercy of their ever